So many people have been bullied in one way or another, it can happen at any age & in any environment, there may of even been a time where you have been the bully but not realised it.
Of course you didn’t mean to do this, maybe you were just trying to have a laugh and didn’t really give any thought to how you might make that other person feel and whether you will hurt their feelings or not.
I, myself was a victim of bullying whilst I was going to high school, I didn’t tell anyone I was being bullying the whole time I was there, I never mentioned it to my parents or friends outside of school, and then the ones in school, it just never got mentioned, still to this day it’s something I have never discussed with my parents.
It was all because my lips are slightly larger than your average person, of course this made me ‘different’ & made me stick out from the crowd, kids don’t like ‘different’ they don’t like it if you are not the ‘same’ as what they are, I guess it is because they feel under some kind of threat?
Like if you’re okay, then they are under threat because they are different to you, quite sad really & I hope to bring my children up to love the people that are different to them because they will learn a lot more from them then they would someone the ‘same’ as themselves.
You’ve probably heard the saying the million times before, but kids are mean!
Now there is probably going to be some people that read this and think that their bullying was much worse, which I don’t doubt, I was lucky enough to go to an extremely small school but I really do hope that you take something from this to help you use your past, or maybe it’s happening to you right now, to make your life completely different, because that is what I have managed to do!
‘FISH LIPS!’ – apparently that was my name, this would be shouted at me walking down the corridor, on the bus, in the play ground, I also remember ‘Rubber Lips’ becoming a thing too, and people making their lips big as I walked past them.
It was mainly from the kids in older years, but some people in my own year too, even SOME, not all, of the teachers would join in – which I think is heart breaking, they are suppose to be your safety net, the people you can go to whilst you have a problem at school, kind of like your school parents almost, maybe this is why I found it so hard to open up about it..?
I also remember when Pete Burns was on Celebrity Big Brother, I had even watched the show the night before of all the celebs going into the house, didn’t think any of it at all, go to school the next day and BAM, new thing, I was getting ‘You spin me right round, baby,
right round like a record, baby, right round round round’ because of course I looked like Pete Burns because we both had large lips!
I even had pictures drawn of me, the one that has really stuck with me was the one that was drawn by someone I had believed to be my ‘friend’, it was in one of our GCSE exams and he has used his spare time to draw a picture of me and showed it to everyone when we left the exam hall, I felt absolutely humiliated, but yet, I hadn’t done anything to make myself feel humiliated, all I had done was come into to the school to do my exam and do it as well as I possibly could, it made it even worse that it was my ‘friend’ that had done it, someone that had been my ‘friend’ the whole 5 years we had been attending the school, it made me feel like I couldn’t rely on anyone to be there and support me.
I remember feeling like the bullying was never going to end, like I was going to spend my entire life this way, no one would ever love me, no one could ever look at me and think ‘she’s beautiful’because I had these big horrid lips on my face, and I did honestly HATE my lips, and when I say HATE, I mean HATEEE!
I was being bullied for something that I couldn’t change about myself, I use to stand in the mirror looking at myself at home, trying any way of smiling or anything that would make my lips smaller, I even remember looking to see if lip reduction was such a thing.
Being bullied made me feel embarrassed & I felt like if I was to tell someone about it that they were just going to join in with the mocking too, no matter who it was, this was the way I felt, so I would just keep my mouth shut and deal with it myself.
It got so bad that I actually stopped attending school, my attendance dropped below 50% & I was appointed an educational social worker to try and get me back on track, who again, I didn’t tell about the bullies & just told her I didn’t like school, when actually that wasn’t the case at all, I did quite enjoy going to school, just didn’t appreciate the bullies that came with it.
Although, now I look back & realise I had NOTHING to be embarrassed about, it was the bullies that should of been embarrassed, embarrassed that they could make someone feel so awful about themselves to the extent that they want to go under surgery to change their appearance & for being such small minded people that they couldn’t accept that WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT!
Even after leaving school, I still couldn’t tell anyone about the bullies, I was still ashamed that I had allowed this to happen – when actually the truth is, I didn’t just let it happen at all, it wasn’t my fault that I had been singled out from the crowd for being slightly ‘different’.
I even remember one of my older friends mentioning that I was being bullied to my dad, when he confronted me about it I completely denied that anything was going on, and anyway, it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle by myself because I’m strong and independent and didn’t need my parents to help me… (IDIOT!).
Over the last 6 years I have managed to change my mindset around and learn to love myself for me, embrace what makes me different & let my uniqueness shine through.
I now purposely want to stand out from the crowd, I now wear bright coloured lip sticks all the time, sometimes I will even use a plumping gloss to make them even bigger, I remember just putting concealer on my lips in high school to try and hide them against my skin.
Since truly embracing myself, instead of hiding away, no one has made a nasty comment about my lips, apart from some girl that had botox in her’s & she was just clearly jealous I didn’t need to have the botox, haha!
But seriously, now all I get is, ‘I love your lips’, ‘I wish I had your lips’, ‘Your lips are beautiful’, it is always lovely comments & I truly believe this is because I just embrace being ME, I don’t try to copy anyone else’s style, I just do what I like, and if someone else doesn’t like it then that is down to them, it isn’t my problem because I am truly happy & they clearly aren’t.
If you’re a victim of bulling, I promise, it WILL get better!
But in the mean time, learn to love yourself for who you really are and really embrace what makes you unique!
If you’re reading this thinking back to the past of when you weren’t so nice to someone because they were slightly ‘different’, it is NEVER too late to apologise!